It's scary to fail.
Correction, it's scary to think about failing.
Some of my clients can't bear the idea of failing.
Often they'll be scared to even start working with me because "I've already failed so many times. I'm so scared to fail again."
The fear of failing prevents them from trying.
I get it. The idea of failing is painful.
What if you don't lose the weight?
What if the scale doesn't go down?
What if you can't overcome the emotional eating?
What if you never reach your goals?
I know, I know, this is the part where I'm supposed to say "But what if you succeed?".
But I'm not going to say that. In fact, I don't want you to imagine succeeding.
I want you to imagine failing.
Your brain will tell you that failure is the worst thing that can happen.
It’s totally okay.
And the thing is, if you do try then you will definitely "fail" at things along the way.
It’s not because you are bad, have no willpower, lack self-discipline, have an eating problem, have a food addiction, will never change or anything else negative that comes to mind.
It's because you are human and that's part of the experience.
It's because anything worth anything comes with some scrapes and bruises along the way.
It’s because you are learning a new skill and new skills take time to develop.
Imagine a child trying to learn a new sport. Do you scream at her because she doesn’t get it right the first time…or second…or tenth even?
Do you tell her she’ll never be a great soccer player because she missed that goal in the first game?
Do you tell her she’ll never be a good basketball player as she’s still learning to dribble?
Do you shame her because she didn’t win her first swim meet?
Of course not. That would be untrue, abusive and cruel.
Do not do that to yourself. Ever.
Here is what you should not do if you “fail”:
1. Say mean things to yourself.
2. Give up or “throw away” the day.
3. Decide it's never going to work.
4. Determine there is something wrong with you.
Here is what you should do:
1. Observe the situation with curiosity & compassion.
2. Ask yourself, “What’s going on Love?” or “Hmm…what happened there?”
3. Come up with a game plan for the next time.
4. Keep moving towards your goal.
Here's what I know for absolute certain: If you do not try you will not reach your goal. You are guaranteed failure.
But here's a radical idea I want you tor try on: what if there is no such thing as failure as long as you try? What if you are only ever succeeding or learning?
Imagine how amazing that approach to weight loss would make you feel.
Imagine how it might just change everything.