Self Integrity & Self-Compassion
There is a beautiful & necessary dance between these two ways of being.
They balance each other out and keep each other in check.
Like two sides of the same coin, each necessary for the other’s existence.
Self-integrity without compassion often morphs into perfectionism, shame & obsessive behaviors that bring a lack of peace.
Self-compassion without integrity can start to look like over-indulgence, buffering & making excuses to not show up fully in our lives.
Often, we hold a different standard of integrity in our relationship with others than with ourselves.
And this matters because just like if we constantly say we will do something and then don’t, or flake out when we promised to be there, or don’t stay true to our word, those around us would lose trust in us, when we do this to ourselves it damages the relationship we have with ourselves.
We lose faith in ourselves.
We lose trust in ourselves.
And it starts to change our belief in what we believe is possible for us & our lives.
Often this leads to harsh self-talk, feelings of shame & hopelessness & a “I just need to be better” mentality.
We speak to ourselves in a way we would never speak to someone we love.
Just like we have a lower level of integrity for ourselves, we have a much lower level of compassion.
Self-integrity is personal & unique but ultimately it is based in self-love. It’s based in a belief that you can do hard things and reach your goals and have an amazing life and you won’t allow yourself to settle for less.
Self-compassion is giving yourself a soft place to land when you fall. It’s having your own back and remembering how wonderful you are regardless of your achievements.
Self-compassion kisses the boo-boos.
Self-integrity says, “Now get back out there”.
Self-compassion says, “I’m proud of you for trying!”
Self-integrity says, “Now try again.”
Self-compassion says, “You are enough.”
Self-integrity says, “You can create a more amazing life than you ever thought possible.”
Self-compassion says, “I acknowledge that this is hard.”
Self-integrity says, “You can do hard things.”
When these two things are balanced and in harmony you will know because of how you feel.
Feelings of shame, unworthiness, hopelessness or restlessness are signs that something is unbalanced; that one is overtaking the other and you need to recalibrate.
But when they are balanced you’ll know because you will experience more feelings of courage & excitement & motivation.
You’ll start to create new results while simultaneously finding more peace & joy.
So, if you aren’t there it’s okay. Figure out which side is more dominate. Define what self-integrity looks like for you. Speak kindly to yourself. Then dance your way back to balance.